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Bertram’s Brew Coffee Recipe – Masketeer Mocha Macchiato (S1E2)

Bertram wasn’t like the other raccoons. Sure, he enjoyed the midnight buffet of discarded pizza crusts and overturned bins, but his palate yearned for more. Tonight, he yearned for a mocha macchiato with a hint of hazelnut. Unfortunately, Bertram lacked the necessary currency (shiny buttons and bottle caps) for such gourmet indulgences. Thus, he pilfered ingredients from the back alleys, a masked maestro of the midnight munch.

Tonight’s mission: coffee beans, cocoa powder, and a stray marshmallow (hopefully not yet claimed by the neighborhood squirrels). With his trusty shopping cart – an overturned grocery basket propelled by nimble paws – Bertram weaved through the silent streets, his raccoon tail tapping a silent rhythm against the pavement.

Suddenly, a spotlight slashed through the darkness, pinning Bertram like a moth in a museum case. “What are you doing? ” boomed a voice, echoing off the brick walls. Officer McGruff, a portly policecoon, lumbered towards him.

Bertram wasn’t a cornered opossum. With a surprising burst of agility, he sidestepped McGruff as he e navigated the maze of dumpsters like a seasoned spelunker, McGruff puffing and wheezing in his wake.

The chase wound through a gauntlet of overturned bins and broken bottles, a symphony of clanking and clattering. Bertram used McGruff’s bulk as a temporary bridge, scurrying across his back to reach a rickety fire escape. He clambered up, leaving McGruff panting at the bottom, defeated by the nimble raccoon and his insatiable coffee desires.

Bertram reached the rooftop, chest heaving but triumphant. Below, McGruff shook a fist at the empty sky, muttering about masked bandits and caffeinated rodents. Bertram grinned, the city lights twinkling like scattered sugar crystals. He may not have gotten his marshmallows, but he had evaded capture and acquired a newfound respect for his resourcefulness. After all, a gourmet coffee was worth a little moonlight chase, right?

And so, Bertram vanished into the night, a masked Houdini of the garbage bin, his shopping cart filled with scavenged beans, and dreams of the perfect mocha macchiato. For Bertram, even in the dim light of a city alley, every night was a culinary adventure, and every dumpster a potential pantry.

panel 1 Coffee Gear Addicts

This mischievous coffee concoction will awaken your inner raccoon with layers of sweetness and a playful bite. Grab your favorite mug and get ready for an adventure!


One strong espresso shot (or brewed coffee if you’re not feeling fancy)
1/2 cup steamed milk (whole or oat milk recommended for that extra creaminess)
Two tablespoons hazelnut syrup (but feel free to substitute for maple, caramel, or even a daring blackberry!)
A sprinkle of cocoa powder (optional, for a hint of raccoon’s nighttime coat)
Marshmallow “bandits” (cut small marshmallows into triangles for maximum cuteness)

panel 2 Coffee Gear Addicts
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Brew your espresso/coffee, and get your milk nice and bubbly.
Drizzle the syrup into the bottom of your mug, swirling it around to create a sticky puddle.
Pour in the hot coffee/espresso, letting it mingle with the syrup.
Gently top with steamed milk, creating a frothy foam layer.
Dust with cocoa powder, if desired, for a touch of raccoon magic.
Scatter your marshmallow bandits on top like little treasure-seekers.

Bonus Points:

Serve in a quirky mug with a raccoon motif.
Sip through a striped straw that resembles a raccoon’s mask.
Enjoy your Bandit’s Brew outside under the stars, just like Raccoon Man might

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