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Bertram’s Brew Coffee Recipe – Bandit’s Drizzle (S1E1)

Bertram, a furry patchwork of white, brown, and rust, cautiously pushed open the “Buzzing Bongo Bean Bar door.” He wasn’t one for trendy new cafes, preferring the greasy spoon down by the docks where they knew his usual: burnt coffee with three sugars and a side of stale biscotti. But today, drawn by the scent of something exotic and the murmur of human intrigue, Bertram had ventured into the unknown.

His eyes darted around, taking in the ambiance and the barista with her nose buried in a menu. A nervous twitch, a familiar comfort, played through Bertram’s whiskers. He made his way to the counter, his claws clicking softly on the polished wood.

“Can I get you started, sir?” boomed the barista, finally looking up. Bertram blinked, startled by the amethyst flash in the barista’s eyes.

“Just… uh… browsing,” Bertram squeaked, feeling ridiculous. Browsing was for tourists, not raccoons.

But the barista grinned a subdued smile that reminded Bertram of a possum he’d once befriended. “Don’t be shy,” they drawled. “We have concoctions to tickle every whisker and stir every tail.”

And that’s how Bertram found himself staring at the chalkboard menu, his nose twitching at the unfamiliar names. Lavender lattes, cardamom macchiatos, and something called a “Phoenix Rising” that shimmered with gold leaf and paprika.  

Paprika? Bertram’s ears twitched. He loved the smoky spice sprinkled on hot dogs from the street vendor near his den. Could it work in a drink? Curiosity, that insatiable itch, gnawed at him.

“I’ll take a Bandit’s Brew,” he said, his voice barely a rustle.

The barista’s grin widened…what is that?  Bertram explained,  “I’m a creature of spice, you see. It’s a daring little elixir, a firestorm in a cup. Espresso’s kick, caramel’s sweetness, and the paprika’s smoky whisper. A taste of mischief, they say.”

As the barista whipped up the brew, Bertram felt a thrill. Tonight, he wasn’t just a scrounging raccoon, a shadow in the city’s corners. He was Bertram the Explorer, the Bandit of his own taste buds.

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This recipe combines the intense kick of espresso with caramel’s playful sweetness and a smoky intrigue. It’s perfect for those who love a coffee with a bit of character, just like our furry dumpster-diving friend.


  • One shot of espresso (30ml)
  • One tablespoon of caramel syrup
  • 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika (optional, for a hint of smokiness)
  • 1/2 cup milk (dairy or plant-based)
  • Ice (optional for the iced version)
  • Caramel drizzle (for garnish)
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  1. Brew your espresso. You can use strong brewed coffee if you don’t have an espresso machine.
  2. Warm the syrups. Heat the caramel and smoked paprika syrups (if using) in a small saucepan over low heat until slightly warmed and pourable. You can also microwave them for 10-15 seconds on medium power.
  3. Assemble the drink. In a glass (hot or filled with ice for the iced version), pour the espresso, followed by the caramel and smoked paprika syrups (if using).
  4. Steam or froth the milk. You can use a milk frother, a handheld milk steamer, or even whisk the milk vigorously in a jar until frothy.
  5. Pour the milk carefully into the glass, creating a swirl of white through the dark espresso and syrups.
  6. Drizzle with caramel sauce for an extra touch of sweetness, and garnish with a sprinkle of smoked paprika (optional) for a touch of visual drama.


  • For a sweeter drink, add more caramel syrup to taste.
  • If you don’t have smoked paprika syrup, add a pinch of smoked paprika directly to the glass.
  • For a vegan option, use plant-based milk and caramel syrup.
  • Get creative with garnishes! Try a sprinkle of cinnamon, cocoa powder, or even crushed nuts.

Enjoy your Bandit’s Brew! With its bold flavors and playful personality, this unique coffee concoction will become your new favorite pick-me-up. Remember, like our furry bandit friend, enjoy it responsibly, and don’t get too wild with the caffeine!

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